Volume 1 No. 5
Contents Articles Magazine Index Masthead News Shopping Home	Colin Parry and CHILDREN FOR PEACE by Susan Barber

"A Dirty Little War" Two groups of young people are gathered on either side of a large room. While the members of each group assemble ''weapons,'' each is indoctrinated by its own propagandist – a young man haranguing them with extreme invective, telling them: Your birthright has been stolen! Your brothers and sisters have been killed, your mothers raped, your fathers tortured and imprisoned and murdered. And it is the people in that group on the other side of the room, they are told, who have committed all of these atrocities. The steady drip-drip-drip of this litany of bigotry and madness goes on for fifteen minutes. Then, at the sound of a whistle, the battle begins. Screaming with hatred and anger, the two groups advance upon each other, hurling projectiles and brandishing clubs. It is all-out war, all systems ''go.'' After five minutes, however, another whistle sounds. And now the youths in each group sit down, panting and blowing. There are some tears – but the projectiles were paper balls, the clubs, rolled-up newspapers. Nobody is really hurt. "Then," says Colin Parry, the man chiefly responsible for Children for Peace, "we brainstorm about what happened. And we all come to realize how a person of will can influence us to violence and murder."

The Tim Parry Scholarship: How It Began

In 1993, Colin and Wendy Parry's 12-year-old son Tim, and little 3-year-old Johnathan Ball (pictured above), were killed by terrorist bombs in the northern English city of Warrington.

Children for Peace has grown out of the Parrys' efforts to see to it that the deaths of these children shall not go unanswered. But their answer, far from thoughts of retaliation and revenge, has been the Tim Parry Scholarship, a stunning program of week-long workshops designed to intercept the escalating pattern of violence in the youth of both England and Ireland.

The Paper-Ball War described in the box above is an exercise conducted at these workshops, in which young people from the three factions which have historically been pitted against each other – the Irish Unionists, the Irish Nationalists, and the English – come together to learn that violence will never solve the problems that beset them.

"The Scholarship was the best experience of my life. It truly made me think about my attitudes and viewpoints. From now on, I won't accept violence for any reasons and will ask why we have to put up with it." —Carmel Duffin, Belfast

An interesting aspect of the Paper-Ball War is that the two opposing factions are chosen randomly from the group at large. Thus, they are made up of individuals who would normally find themselves on opposite sides of the political controversies that have torn their countries apart for centuries.

In the Paper-Ball War, the young people realize that their extreme opposition to certain others is not based on real principles. "Being part of a unified group is what becomes important to them," says Parry, referring to the forces that have allowed the violence to continue, "and being loyal to one's leader – even if that leader is evil."

Early Days

After Tim's death, Parry says, "My wife and I made a BBC program. This was the summer of 1993. The program was shot both in Northern Ireland and in Boston. It predated the first ceasefire. Tension was very high then, and there was a great deal of undercurrent of violence. But in the midst of the depressing aspect, there was one bright spot. This was in Coleraine, north of Belfast, where a peace farm is dedicated to getting young people from both sides of the divide together in workshops.

"Although someone once said to die for one's country is the ultimate sacrifice, I now know that to live for one's country is better." —Mark Mulholland, Belfast (17)

"We spent a day with them and watched and listened very carefully. On occasion, the arguments became very hostile and aggressive. The participants were not changing their political ideas, and they were not expected to. But there was unity. These young people, from ages 16 to 22, were united in their opposition to violence. No matter what their other disagreements might be, they were united on that one issue. They all agreed that violence had no place."

The Parrys efforts for the next years were to set up a charitable program to teach peace to children and young people. These efforts culminated last year in creating the Peace Center, in Warrington – the Parrys' home town in northern England.

"We have two partners," Colin Parry says. "One is the NSPCC – the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. It's been in operation for more than 130 years, the oldest children's charity in the United Kingdom. It enjoys royal patronage." The NSPCC helps with one-on-one counseling and other assistance to childhood victims.

The other partner in the Peace Center is a local youth club that provides activities for young people who otherwise would have very few physical outlets. Together, the three partners are working to conduct and continue to develop learning programs to teach young people how to handle conflict peacefully.

The Icebreaker and the Secret Friend

Other than the Paper-Ball War, Parry outlined two other exercises conducted at these workshops.

The Icebreaker involves dividing the workshop participants into national groups – Northern Irish, Southern Irish, and English – and asking the young people to write down their perceptions and impressions of the other groups. "When it's completed and these impressions are debated openly," says Parry, "it can be very humorous. We ask, 'Where did you get this impression,' and it becomes obvious that the source is usually parental bigotry and belongs way back in history. You see that you've been carrying this baggage around with you all this time, until someone said, 'Put it down on paper and let's talk about it.'"

"I truly felt part of something important, something that could make some sort of difference not only in our own lives but also for those around us." —Shane, Dublin (17)

In the Secret Friend process, each workshop participant draws the name of another who is to be his or her secret friend for the duration of the workshop. "The young people are asked not to divulge to anyone the name of their secret friend, but to do something kind, generous, or thoughtful for that individual," Parry explains. "So, for example, if a young Protestant boy pulls out the name of a young Nationalist girl, he becomes keen to do something nice for a person who back home he'd fear.

"Some very nice poems, letters, and gifts come out of this process. And at the end, the young people try to guess who was their secret friend. It's fascinating to see who guesses right or wrong."

Meeting with Real Terrorists

Like the Secret Friend process, many of the workshop elements are designed to be fun. These include visits to historic places and get-togethers with music and dancing.

There are also meetings and discussions. "Perhaps the most serious thing we do," Parry says, "is something we began in the past two years. We bring in two former terrorists, one from the IRA, and one from the UVF. The UVF is less well known in your country, but they are the Ulster Volunteer Force, a paramilitary Loyalist group opposed to the IRA. Both of the men who come in to talk at the workshop have murdered people from the other side, and spent many years in prison.

"The two former terrorists are men who have had a spiritual change and no longer believe in what they did. So they have been allowed out of prison and back into the population. They talk to the young people in graphic detail about how they were drawn in down the years, with more and more serious involvement, culminating in the instructions to go out and kill, or plant bombs. And it is strangely affecting, how they speak of these things so matter-of-factly, plainly, unemotionally – like going to the office. It's chilling."

You Couldn't Fail to Be Uplifted by These Children

In 1999, contemplating his goal to bring other countries into these programs, Colin Parry decided it was time that he himself took part in one of the workshops. "I had some incredible experiences," he says. "I realized that there was a lot I still had not dealt with about Tim's death. I had 17- and 18-year-olds propping me up when my own emotional dam burst. You couldn't fail to be uplifted by these children – by their spirit, their drive and energy."

There is plenty of evidence that these workshops do in fact work, that they change lives. "I can remember very vividly one young man in particular," Parry says. "This was two years ago, when our own daughter was a participant. A 17-year-old Nationalist boy from West Belfast wrote to us an eloquent and passionate description of how he had joined the program believing that if the political process failed to deliver the goals you were seeking, then violence was justified. Now, he said, he forswore violence, saying that 'whilst you can hold your political perspective, it's inexcusable to use violence to achieve your goals.'

"I met this young man again by chance, and listened to him with trepidation, asking myself, 'Has he cooled?' But what had happened was a lifelong change of view. Not political change. He still held the same views and opinions. But he would never go back to thinking that violence was an option.

"We get lots and lots of letters telling the same kinds of life-changing stories and experiences – what it's done for these young people to learn how to 'walk in someone else's shoes.' They have not changed their political opinions, but they have changed their attitude – to one of tolerance."

"Thank you for one of the most emotional, inspiring weeks of my life. It broke down barriers that I was not even aware I had." —Liane, Warrington (17)

Parry admits that some of his countryman think the Irish people deserve whatever happens to them because of the violence and irresponsibility they seem to display. "But the Paper-Ball War shows that this attitude is far too easy and facile," he says. "It demonstrates that unless they have been taught to understand what is being done to them, people are all too easily influenced to violence and irrational hatred by an authority figure who has strong will and intent. And it happens irrespective of beliefs or country of origin. There's no point in our being pompous about it."

Children for Peace Looks to the Future

The organization's current goal is to replicate the Tim Parry Scholarship workshops elsewhere. Colin Parry mentions the Mideast and the Basque countries in this regard. And with this writer, he talked of the possible application of these approaches in the ghetto gangs of America.

But through a set of unfortunate circumstances, the Peace Center/Children for Peace has been almost wiped out financially. Seeking funding, the Parrys are coming to the United States for a week, March 14 - 21.

If you want to find out more about Children for Peace, and perhaps help them to continue the brilliant start they have made in promoting world peace, you may contact Colin Parry via their website at Children for Peace. Colin Parry's email address is info@childrenforpeace.org. His book, Tim: An Ordinary Boy, can be obtained from Source Books and Sacred Spaces.

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