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Spirit of Ma'at: "Protect the Children" — Vol 2, No 12 with Barbara Blaine by Celeste Adams
SNAP stands for Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests. It was founded in 1991 and is now a nationwide, all-volunteer group with 2400 members and numerous local chapters. Though the original goal of the organization was the support of those abused by Catholic clergy, the organization is non-denominational. It is a USA/Canadian self-help organization of men and women who were sexually abused by spiritual elders (Catholic priests, brothers, nuns, ministers, teachers, and so on). Members find healing and empowerment by joining with other survivors. Barbara Blaine, founder of the organization, is a Social Worker and an attorney who is an advocate for abused and neglected children. Adams: How effective is the Survivors Network in helping people. Blaine: I think the most important thing that SNAP offers is a place for healing and a place for survivors to tell their stories. I just got off the phone with a gentleman in his mid-fifties. He was abused many years ago and is very wounded. He feels so much guilt and shame that he's never told his wife or his kids about the abuse. He doesn't want them to know because he's embarrassed by it. So I think SNAP offers a place for people like him to find healing. I was abused when I was a kid, growing up in Toledo, Ohio. My parish priest began molesting me in the summer, between seventh and eighth grade, until I was a senior in high school. Like most victims, I didn't have any understanding of the fact that it wasn't my fault. I thought it was all my fault. I didn't realize that it had an impact on my life until I was 29, when I first came to some level of awareness that what had happened to me was abuse. This was in 1985. I went to the church leaders and became involved in a long process with them, where they kept making promises and kept breaking them. They'd ask for forgiveness, then make new promises and break those as well. By 1988 I realized they were not going to help, although I was still hurting and needed healing. I thought that if I could get together with other survivors, we could help each other heal. That's why I started SNAP. Anytime I found a newspaper article, I would call the reporter who wrote it. I would ask the journalist to pass along my number to the victims of sexual abuse. On occasion they did, though most of the time they didn't. After a year, I had about fifteen names of survivors that I had spoken to, all across the country. I'd talk to one survivor and he would tell me that a priest molested him during confession. Then I'd hear a similar story from someone else who was molested during confession, and I'd suggest that they talk to each other. After talking to a lot of different people, I suggested that we all meet. I booked a hotel room at the Holiday Inn as a meeting room. I invited everyone to come, but most ended up not coming. I put an ad in the National Sunday Reporter, which is a weekly that comes out on Friday. Maybe twelve or fourteen people came to the event. A few brought their spouses or someone else with them because they didn't want to come alone. I don't know what we expected, but we all mentioned that we seemed so normal — like it was a great thing that people had two arms and two legs. Everyone was normal and nice. After that, one person suggested that we have another meeting in San Francisco. Then someone suggested we have it in Philadelphia. We ended up having events all over the country. Each time we advertised that we were having an event, we let the media know so they could publicize it. Little by little our group kept growing, and then we started local chapters. Now we have over four thousand members and about twenty chapters, and we're still growing. Over this past weekend, we had a meeting in Dallas and we had about seventy survivors there. We'll be having local groups in five or six more cities. Adams: Why is it so difficult to recover from childhood sexual abuse? Blaine: The psychological impact is horrendous and it affects the victim to the core of their being. It has repercussions throughout their life. Without a real concerted effort of healing, we really don't get over it. Adams: What would you like the church to do now? Blaine: Three things:
We think these three things are pretty simple and are the things that most Americans really want. Adams: Why has sexual abuse of children by those in priesthood gone on for so many years? Blaine: A major part of the problem has been the desire of the bishops and church leaders to protect their image and to avoid scandal. In doing this, they are really creating a lot more scandal. It's a major cover-up. Members of SNAP know that, before we were molested, the church leaders were aware that our perpetrators were molesting kids. Hundreds of us would not have been molested if the church authorities had removed these priests after the first allegations against them. In my case, my abuse went on until 1974. They knew as early as 1971, when some of the other girls had come forward and told about being molested by him. I didn't tell anyone about it until I was 29. He had total control and power over me, such that I didn't tell my teachers or my friends. I'm a twin and I didn't even tell my twin. Adams: Was your twin sister molested as well? Blaine: No. These perpetrators know how to pick their victims. My twin sister was much more assertive and self-confident than I was. I was shy and withdrawn. My sense is that he picked me because he knew that he could get away with it. My sister would've told someone about it immediately. She didn't like him anyway, and she never understood why I did. He would make stupid rules and pronouncements that she didn't agree with. Adams: Is it the more obedient child that is more inclined to be victimized? Blaine: I think perpetrators know how to groom their victims. I was the type of kid that grew up trying to do what is right. Some kids do that, other kids just try to grow up, and some want to be rebel rousers. I wanted to be holy, a good girl, so to speak. He knew that and took advantage of that quality. Adams: Is there a difference in how men respond to the sexual abuse they experienced as children, compared to the way women respond to childhood abuse? Blaine: I think it's much easier in our society for women to come forward than for men. Men have the issue of sexual identity to deal with. Male survivors are embarrassed because they think that someone will label them homosexual, so they have to deal with that. Women are more inclined to deal with their feelings, and they tend to join self-help groups. In our groups, the percentage is half male and half female, though I think more boys were abused than girls. I think that the reason it's fifty-fifty in our meetings is that it's easier for women to come forward. More boys were abused because the priests had access to them. The priests could take a group of boys out on a camping trip on the weekends, but they couldn't take a group of girls. The boys were the altar servers. In the Catholic Church, the girls weren't allowed to be altar servers. The boys were more available to the priests. Many people try to place blame on homosexual priests — I think it's misguided. It's a much broader structural problem within the priesthood and within the church. You can't just blame it on homosexual men. Many of the priests entered the seminary when they were thirteen or fourteen years old and grew up in the seminary. A lot of them were just freshmen in high school when they entered the seminary. There are a couple of books dealing with the fact that the emotional development of many of these priests was stunted after they entered the seminary. They grew up among boys and men in a culture that denied and repressed sexuality. They never developed as normal teenagers. They had no outlet for any type of discussion or acknowledgement of sexuality. Because their growth was stunted at the age of thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen, they are immature men — and that's the age that they're attracted to. In my case, that seems to resonate. The priest who molested me seemed immature to us even when we were kids. He was in his early forties when he molested me, but he acted like a teenager. When we went to different places with him as teenagers, he socialized with us, not with the other adults. Adams: What has happened to that priest? Blaine: He has been removed from the ministry, but not from the priesthood. In 1992 he was told not to wear his robe and collar, and was told not to hold himself out as a priest. Just two weeks ago, my mom was telling me that some of her friends still think that he's a priest. They don't know he's been removed from the priesthood. My concern with that is that it leaves children at risk. Adams: Did you confront him? Blaine: I did. It was nerve-racking, but also affirming when he initially admitted everything. Then he denied it. Initially he admitted it in front of a psychiatrist and his religious superior. Later, the religious superior claimed that he didn't hear that admission of guilt. Adams: How do you feel about the people who believe that children make up these stories. Blaine: People who refuse to believe these stories are in denial. There are rarely if ever false allegations. If you talk to the church leaders, they'll back this up. Adams: How do you feel about the rules regarding celibacy in the priesthood? Blaine: I don't think that celibacy is what causes priests to molest children in the first place. But I do believe that celibacy creates an environment that allows abuse to spread because of the secrecy and the denial of sexuality. I think it's easy for the perpetrators to continue to molest in that kind of environment. Adams: Why are the bishops protecting the priests? Blaine: The bishops grew up with these perpetrators. They went to high school, college, and seminary with them. So I think their tendency is to reach out with compassion to them. The bishops have the authority and the power to reach out to the victims, but instead they treat the victims as the enemy. In reality, the victims who speak out are the heroes, because they are naming an evil. They are shedding light on an area of darkness. That is a gift, because it enables the church to rid itself of an evil. If no one brings it to light, it continues to fester. Victims who speak out are the heroes and should be respected and appreciated for that. Adams: Do you think this kind of abuse is happening all over the world. Blaine: It is. That's why we've expanded our organization to other countries. We have five or six chapters in Canada, and we have interest in Ireland, England, and Australia. We've been in touch with survivors from all different countries including parts of Asia and all over Europe. Adams: Is there an estimate of how many children have been abused by priests? Blaine: A study was done by Father Andrew Greeley at the University of Chicago, and he estimated a minimum of 100,000 victims in the U.S. His study was not that scientific, but he explained the basis of that 100,000 figure, saying that it is a conservative estimate. He thinks that there are many more than that. Adams: Are you continually shocked by the stories that you hear? Blaine: I don't feel shock. I feel sadness that so many people have had to suffer. And sometimes I'm outraged when I hear how terribly the church leaders treat the victims. Adams: Do you want to remain in the Catholic Church? Blaine: So much has been taken from me, but they're not taking my faith from me. My faith is in God and in the teachings of the scriptures. These individual men who are leading the church have abandoned a lot of the principles and teachings of the church. That's why the Christians say, "What would Jesus do?" My sense is that Jesus would embrace the victims and not treat them as the enemy. Jesus wouldn't use legal hardball tactics against victims. If the church leaders were following the true message of the teachings of the church, then they wouldn't require victims to remain under gag orders. They would encourage victims to speak out and shed light on the evil they've experienced. There would be such outreach among victims that we wouldn't even need a group like SNAP. SNAP exists because the church has failed in its responsibility.
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