Finding Your Spirit Song by Lyndsey Watson with Marylyn Rands

I remember now that my life has meaning.
I remember now that I am not wrong.
If I ever lose my faith or freedom,
I'll breathe, and sing my song.

—from "Battle of the Voices"
by Lyndsey Watson

When I inform a room of fifty people that they are all singers, at least half will object profusely, with such comments as, "I'm tone deaf" or "I can't sing my way out of a. . .. . ." or "Someone told me long ago it hurts to hear my voice." No wonder so many people refuse to open their mouths and sing.

But song is a language understood by all living beings. We were born to sing. It is our birthright. A multitude of voices lie hidden deep within our bodies, each voice longing to be heard. When we connect with these inner voices, we hear them — perhaps for the first time.

When we nurture our true inner voice, we are singing our Spirit Song. We are tapping into the deep creative source that lies within each of us.

Listen to a baby sing. It croons, it cries, it lets its voice come out naturally in whatever sound, shape, or feeling it desires. For some of us, when we made these sounds as babies, it was the last time we heard our Spirit Songs.

How Judgment Blocks Our Song

Some of us were born with pretty voices and were encouraged to sing. Most of us, however, were shut down early on by being given various messages that we were to keep quiet.

We stop expressing our inborn voices. We apologize, we judge ourselves, we become silent. This is blocking the breath of life, for within us is the desire to sing, the need to be heard.

Now, some may think they do not have a singing voice because our society dictates that the only people who are allowed to sing are those who are trained or gifted. My mission is to educate people and direct them back to their singing voice, because we were all given a singing voice at birth, by God.

Song Circles

The mission of my practice, the River of Song, is to create an open, inviting environment for people to come together and sing. Here we rediscover the joy of singing, and learn to sing enthusiastically and with exuberance without judging ourselves or others. We recreate the ancient practice of communal singing.

The Song Room is a part of my home that faces beautiful Mirror Lake in Wrentham, Massachusetts. I like to think of the River of Song experience as similar to going into the water. You can either dip your toe in or you can dive in completely. I hold occasional sessions for simple group singing (little toe); song circles that add "Spirit Singing," where the same people meet monthly (knee high); and individual sessions for clients who want to explore deep-seated feelings (dive in) by releasing their own singing voice without having to go into their story.

Together, my clients and I create a safe, sacred place. Sacredness for me is found in circles, where each person is equidistant from the center. No one is greater or lesser than anyone else. I use ideas from Native American traditions, Buddhist practices, and other ceremonies to create a feeling of sacred space. Sacred songs and meditations also help everyone feel safe.

One of the hardest challenges we have in our personal lives is to allow ourselves to be seen and heard exactly as we are. So a large part of practice is to learn non-judgment. We let go of all of our judgments when we are in the song circle.

We do recognize that we are judging beings. But when we feel a judgment come up, we allow ourselves to notice it and let it go. Coax it out the door. Drop it in the lake. Leave the judge outside the door and pick it up later, if we so choose, when we leave to go home. When we practice this, the circle becomes safe enough for us to stand in the center, to breathe openly, and to sing our Spirit Songs and be heard.

Spirit Song Practice

Though it can often be therapeutic, singing your Spirit Song is not therapy. You can bring whatever feelings you are having, or whatever has happened to you that day, and sing it. You are giving yourself permission to express these feelings and to be heard in a safe, non-judging environment. Yet you do not have to tell your story.

Singing your Spirit Song has little to do with your story. The reasons you are singing through tears or releasing anger or laughing are really inconsequential in this process. What does matter is that you are expressing your authentic self, perhaps being seen and heard fully for the first time. You do not have to talk about your story or give meaning to your feelings for Spirit Singing to be beneficial.

Many of us deal with our painful or negative feelings by trying to suppress them, which can be quite destructive. You push them down inside yourself, bottle them up, and ignore them. The problem is that those negative feelings really never go away. They are energy and can build up and fester deep inside, causing tension and anxiety. They can drive you to behaviors you do not like and cannot control. Singing is a safe way to release this energy.

How does the energy start working and get released? What happens to the person? It is so simple, it's almost silly. Breathe in through the nose and breathe out "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." That's basically it. There is nothing magical about it except the result of continued singing and listening.

Disconnect the brain, and listen for blocks. Breathe into the block. Give it a voice. Listen to it. Release it. Move on. Let your body express whatever is there. When you let the sound come through you, you will experience it body and soul.

Sample Session

I worked with my co-writer, Marylyn, so that she would have a first-hand experience of this work (see "I Sing My Spirit Song").

In Marylyn's session, she noticed heartache and a holding in her throat. That holding had a voice of its own, along with its own energy. I encouraged her to pay attention to whatever energy was present and give it a voice.

She did this, and from there, that voice created more space for what was coming next. And more will keep on coming, over time.

It never ends. Your song changes from moment to moment. You notice all this stuff, and your brain wants to put meaning to these experiences. My role is to get people to let go of the meaning, let go of the story, just keep bringing ourselves back to the body and the breath.

So that's all a Spirit Song is. It is our personal sound, our personal vibration as it exists in the moment. The only thing we are doing is breathing, then opening our apparatus and engaging it to allow ourselves to sing. The voice is just a tool used to transmit this unique vibration. There is not another like it in the world.

Working with Students

Every lesson is different, every class, every circle. I used to try to make a plan for my classes, but each time I did, within the first two minutes the plan went out the window.

This work is completely spirit-guided. Whatever is present around me, within me, within the students — whatever is here in the moment is utilized toward reaching a connection with our true voices.

I am always amazed and delighted at how little I need to "do" to make a circle successful. The sheer simplicity of bringing ourselves fully into the moment, thereby connecting with our true inner voice and our guides (for those of us who are aware of them), leaves me in genuine awe.

And each student is unique, each has different needs. So I do whatever I'm guided to do. Some people are responsive to my moving in and giving a little guidance — touching or singing or drumming. Others do not want help.

Then sometimes a person becomes attached to getting help from me, and I back off. I say, "You know what you're doing. It's just a breath and an 'Ahhhh.' Now do it! Just trust yourself." Spirit singing is a lesson in trusting yourself.

Song circles meet once a month for nine months. But nine months isn't enough practice for a person to do this alone. I encourage students to continue meeting on their own.

I still meet once a week in my own peer group with four other women. We need this. At this point in our four-year journey, we may sing with words, or sing without words, or just talk. But each of us takes our turn, and no one speaks during someone else's turn. It is our time just to be heard.

It's not as though you find your Spirit Song once and for all. You could do this every day. It's a constant exploration. It's a practice. It's deep inner work.

Benefits of Spirit Singing

People sing naturally, in showers and cars, when they're alone and can't be heard. But then they don't get the validation or affirmation, they don't get the consistent experience of not being judged by others. That's the transformation of this practice, of being heard without judgment — of hearing yourself without judgment.

Here is what one of my students said: "My soul has such a yearning to be heard, especially those places that I judge as dark and ugly in myself. You've helped me to take another step forward in acknowledging that we are all human and these are all just feelings — they don't make us good or bad."

Students speak of becoming more patient with themselves and others, of learning to listen to others without judgment, of opening to their own inner voices without fear. Some learn that just making sounds is Spirit Singing. One does not have to sing a melody or carry a tune.

My Personal Experience with Spirit Singing

The first time I stepped into the center of a circle, I was shaking like a leaf. And I'm a trained singer! In fact, it's harder for trained singers to do this. It has taken me years to let go of my inner critic. And a lot of times, the sounds of our feelings are not pretty.

There were fifteen people sitting in circle around me. I closed my eyes. The facilitators were in front and in back of me, and I breathed, and I sang, timid and self-conscious. Then another breath, another note, and then another, until soon all awareness of the circle disappeared. It was as though no one else was there. So I kept singing until I was done, opened my eyes, and was almost surprised to see that everyone was still there. And they were loving me! They were just loving me. It was the first time in my life I had actually been fully heard, and I burst into tears.

I am a truly changed person because I practice this way of singing. I am more comfortable in my own skin. I can stand firmly with my two feet on the ground and state with confidence what I believe to be true. I can say what I am feeling to someone in a loving way, clearly and concisely.

I listen to people more deeply, and I am much more accepting of people's differences. I have more patience and much less fear of what others think of me. I'm not so scared of conflict, and I trust myself to take care of myself in stressful situations. And I breathe more freely.

My Mission with River of Song

My goal is to facilitate circles that will eventually continue on their own as a group without my assistance. I believe we sorely need to return to nurturing community in our lives. Isolation has damaged society. Singing — and especially Spirit Singing — is designed to be experienced together, with others.

I believe our voices are the most powerful tools for changing our world. The more we can open them up in our own lives, person to person, the faster our precious Planet Earth will change. Meditation is great. Spiritual perfection is good. But as human beings, our personal sound can create the greatest impact.

See how the world needs this? All these religions, fighting, fighting, fighting. And we are all right. All of us. All we each really want is to be heard, accepted, and honored for who we are, with all of our differences and imperfections.

We need to find love, forgiveness, and tolerance within ourselves first, and when we reach that goal, we can let the same flow to others. This is why I do what I do.

My mission is to get as many people singing as possible. Because when you are singing, it is impossible to hate. More than anything, I want a peaceful world to become a reality in my lifetime. This is my humble contribution toward that end.

I Sing My Spirit Song

by Marylyn Rands

Lyndsey insisted that if we wrote this article, I needed to experience singing my Spirit Song, not just write about it. As no groups were meeting in the summer, she said she would give me a private session.

Great!

I was a little nervous but not too much. I had met Lyndsey, and she was warm and friendly. And the brochure said you didn't have to have a singing voice: "If you can breathe, you can sing!"

I did mention to a mutual friend who had participated in a song circle what I was planning to do. "Oh, my," she said. "You are very brave to do this by yourself." Oh-kay. . .

I scheduled with Lyndsey. Something came up. I rescheduled with Lyndsey. Something else came up. I scheduled again. "Lyndsey," I said, "I have a scratchy throat."

She said, "Marylyn, it doesn't matter if your throat is scratchy or if you cannot carry a tune. It is your spirit that will be singing. We make a safe place for you to sing as little or as much as you want. In fact, you do not have to sing at all. You can do whatever feels safe. Just relax and go with the flow. But if you feel the fear and go through it, you will be rewarded with hearing your spirit voice."

The lake setting was beautiful and serene. The room was peaceful. Lyndsey had arranged two chairs and put a circular arrangement of sacred objects on the floor beside us. I took off my shoes, looked out at the lake, and wondered what would happen.

Lyndsey had me close my eyes and breathe. It felt good to relax. Then she had me stand, still keeping my eyes closed. She said she would sing a song and I could join in if I wanted to. She picked up her guitar and started to play. It was a song about self-acceptance and being safe and at home. She got to the second line and — as I had feared — I burst into sobs. She repeated the verse, over and over. I squeaked out a word now and then, between sobs. After awhile, I could sing four or five words. She stopped.

"Now I want you to sing 'Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.' Let the energy come up through the Earth and through your feet and into your body and just sing whatever wants to come out."

I'm still sobbing. I sing a little broken "Ahhh."

"Yes, the tears are running down your face. Just let them flow. And there is stuff running out of your nose. Just let it run. Don't pay any attention to it. It is okay."

I sing a few more broken "Ahhhhhhs." They are getting stronger. They are also coming further up my body. Inside, I am feeling my heart aching. The song finally reaches my heart and, after a few more sobs, moves through it. I can get to my throat now, but then the song catches and my voice breaks and I cry some more.

Lyndsey moves behind me and touches me on my upper back. It feels so loving, I sob some more. Soon the energy flows a little smoother, but it still catches in my throat.

Lyndsey moves to the front of my body and asks me to push on her hands with mine. I push, hard. This is easier. I break through the block and my throat is free. Anger, she tells me later.

Soon it seems my song has reached a higher and smoother pitch and flow. My feet are moving and my body wants to sway. Lyndsey drums to my footsteps. Energy is flowing. I still cry, but the energy has been released. We stop, and she gives me the tissue box. I open my eyes and sit down. Lyndsey is smiling.

It is hard to know what to say. In fact, that is the point. I do not have to say anything. I have expressed myself in the moment, exactly as I am, nothing held back, no judgment. I feel released. I can already feel that singing has released energy that wants to be used for Love, not pain. And I do feel Love: for this woman who has given me this experience, for all the people in the world who care, for my personal loved ones.

Lyndsey is right. When you sing, the world is one and Love is possible in any circumstances.

I drive home having received the gift of this article for you and the gift she gave me of a renewed capacity for love and happiness.

Lyndsey Watson is founder of the River of Song, where she offers a variety of singing experiences. She was trained by Mary Elizabeth Wheeler and Shawna Carol at the SpiritSong^TM Institute in Lincoln, Massachusetts, and studied with their teacher, the originator of Silence and Song, Susan Osborn, who now resides in Washington State.

Lyndsey has been leading song circles and practicing Spirit Singing for ten years. She also is a professional singer and singing channeler. She is available for individual and ceremonial performances.

Lyndsey travels to provide intensive one- or two-day song circle workshops. She also plans to train facilitators sometime in the future.

Her song room overlooking beautiful Mirror Lake in Wrentham, Massachusetts, is available by appointment for a single or couple retreat, including Spirit Singing if desired.

For further information, see RiverOfSong.com, or email SongRiver@attbi.com. Lyndsey Watson also can be reached by mail at 163 Walnut Road, Wrentham, MA 02093, or by phone at 508-384-0655.