Letters from the Soul

By Julia Griffin

Sometimes, answers are more easily understood when associated with real life stories. In the past two months, I have been delighted to receive numerous emails from students and Spirit of Maat readers. I've chosen to share my answers this month because the questions are consistently the same. They are important questions that relate to spiritual practice, duality, a spiritual career in the material world, and difficult life patterns.

Question:

Hi Julia,

Thanks for your gentle and inspiring wisdom. Feel I want to be there in Georgia to see and hug you. My life is not in that great a state, have had a load of problems, and have a challenging astrological chart, for some reason. Maybe I'll get through this. Do you have any advice?

Answer:

At various times in life, we all go through both difficulties and exceptionally good times with our astrological charts. I try to really focus on being more devoted to my spiritual practices during the tough times, as well as focusing on awareness and love.

Years ago, I read a metaphysical book that stated, "When the physical vision is clouded, the inner vision is cleared." When our physical lives are clouded, then it is best to rely on one's inner vision to navigate through life. We develop our inner gifts and intuition by opening to the Divine.

Ironically, it is often easier to meditate deeply when life is painful or difficult because meditation can temporarily alleviate pain and attachment to negativity. This is one of the benefits of meditation. There is also a tendency to have a stronger desire to create positive change.

If you are developing a meditation practice, begin by focusing on color or light. You can place a sheet of colored paper on a table and simply focus on the color. You can meditate on light by observing a candle or colored light bulb. You can then move into visualization by focusing on an object and creating a replica of the object in your mind. You can also meditate on your heart and practice listening for its voice.

As you develop the skill of visualization, you can use this time to learn how to visualize your desires in fruition. (Your difficulties have probably shown you what you do NOT want. This is an excellent time to imagine the opposite or what you do truly want.) Extend your meditation practice and make time to be kind to others. When we make a conscious effort to lift others, it helps to lift our consciousness to a higher frequency. Eventually, the energy collected from these practices seems to mitigate the difficulties in life.

Question:

Dear Julia,

I have been so stuck on linear thinking and missing the real quantum aspect of how God repeatedly works in my life. I love how many times in the past you have reminded me to simply focus on what I want.... I have looked; I see a prosperous business that "focuses" on beautiful products for small businesses (for web sites, etc). and then the next feeling is a lack of confidence. I shut myself up with a reminder of people that I know who can direct me in setting my prices and recommending updated classes, and then I again feel the deflation and doubt of whether or not I can do it..... This lifetime feels very difficult. I will continue to ask God who/when to call for insight.

In addition to the lack of confidence, I also see that I let myself be pulled into what I call the strong gravity of my husband's force field. You have helped me to see how I am "addicted" to my husband's approval and yet it is a very real issue for me to learn how to honor and trust myself rather than continue to be swayed by my partner's happiness (or lack of it).

Answer:

It is difficult in the beginning to follow your soul's path in the physical world. It is challenging to share your spirituality through work in the mundane world. Our greatest resistance is to the joy, love and fulfillment that manifestation or co-creation brings; however, it brings great joy to experience one's spirituality in the material world and can change the lives of many.

The emotions and hesitation are a normal part of manifestation. When you meditate on your desire, the old energies that were deposited in the not-doing bank flow into your field for regeneration. It is possible to renew these energies by taking steps toward your desires. The simple act of meditating on your desire also cleanses and changes the energies.

There are also several other factors can that influence your feelings:

Time and Energy: We can begin by looking at time and energy. How many years have you desired to move into this reality of successfully expresses yourself in the material world? The answer is often 10, 15 or 20 years. Each time that you procrastinated, felt fear or didn't act, you accumulated energy that was directly opposed to your desired creation. The fear and anxiety are energies that were deposited into the bank of not-doing or not-going-forward x time (the number of years.) In other words, the fear that you are feeling is the accumulation of many years of energy.

Fear accompanies action. The greatest fear is moving toward the desires of the heart. I am often afraid, particularly when I take a new action or express myself in a new way. (WE ALL FEEL IT.) Fear is often the companion on the path of self-realization, but it is also a phantom. It will disappear or become less influential as you take small actions. As you build a series of small successes, your faith in your abilities will grow. You will not listen to it or feel it as much. Also, you will learn to call on the light and lean on the light as you move through your personal/spiritual endeavors.

Mass Consciousness is allowed to amplify to your fear. The dominant energies of mass consciousness are the lower emotions: fear, anxiety, doubt, anger and separation. When you start to move toward your desire and feel overwhelming fear, mass consciousness will amplify the negative emotion.

Meditation, chanting, exercise, and time in nature will renew your connection. It is easiest to take action just after completing meditation or exercise. If you wait, the fear often returns.

Other People on the Same Level — You will also feel the fear of other people (often light workers) who are on the same level and desire to take to a similar step. You can separate from the fear by raising your consciousness and refusing to participate in the group consciousness. When we partake of the energy of any group (and identify with it), we receive both the upward (support) and downward (lower emotions) waves.

Discouragement from Others — Other people are allowed to express our deepest doubts and fears as we raise ourselves to a higher level. You are the only person who can decide if their words are true or false. You must find this answer in your soul. When you separate from the desire for approval from others, then you will learn to find true independence. Independence is learning to listen to your heart and soul for the truth. Faith is acting on this wisdom.

Approval is based on insecurity and the desire for validation from others. You cannot control other people by "making them happy" or winning their approval. Even if you win your husband's approval, you cannot win his love or make him happy. You can only lose yourself. There is nothing to win.

Happiness — Ultimately, you are the only person that you can make happy. True happiness comes from pursuit of the nature of the soul and the development of the true self. When you become happy, your field changes and radiates outwardly, touching all who surround you. As you move into a deeper love for yourself, everyone in your life will begin to resonate with it and move more closely toward you or move away. In other words, they will choose to move to a higher frequency with you or remain in a lower frequency without. This is the nature of evolution.

Living from your heart and spirit — You are feeling the fear of moving into your true life. Everyone changes from this experience and is afraid of both change and loss; yet, this is the greatest gain that anyone can make in life. Everyone is also afraid of the beauty, power and love that stems from a spiritual life. This will pass as you take steps to express the true beauty of your inner self, your soul.

Question:

Dear Julia:

I have seen a pattern that seems to be when I stand in my power, true self, light, love, say my opinion — I am punished. It has been so throughout my life. During therapy, I came into contact with a memory from a past life. It was from the time of Jesus, I could smell, see colors, naturally. And even in that life, I was punished when I was in my light. (They killed me. It is my memory. I have not working with past lives before, so when this came up I was not prepared for it.)

In recent days, I started to have contact with my body again. I have eaten better and have slept well at night — it has not happened in four years. But then this notice came today in the post. It is about the same thing — I start to feel better and then this thing. I do not know how to get out of it. For when I stand in my light, I am actually punished in life. It may be psychological or physical abuse. When I choose not to stand in my light, I know that I have made this choice — so I punish myself. Anyway, I think this will stop things from manifesting.

One day I asked and was in my light that I would receive an abundance of money. At 04.30 arrived neighbor with an envelope in the mailbox and lowered the rent by December by $200, by giving the money to me. But then I became ill (a punishment). When I say no to my ex-husband, he has abused me or hit me. When I was a child it was the same, but abuse with words. And it seems that this pattern goes back to the time of Jesus. I would like to clear it. I believe that this is the main pattern why I can't manifest my life as I like. I must somehow send out this energy to universe and I get it over and over again. And it must be some silent voice inside me, or energy that sends it out, I am not aware of what it is yet. I don't know if you understand what I mean?

And what I also have noticed this holiday is that when an accident happens, I am absolutely clear in my head. I am acting from a completely different consciousness. I've been in first in place for two car accidents and then I am not afraid to act. I go up and help the injured. The same goes if I'm in the mountains and hiking and going to the glaciers, guiding groups in the mountains ... when I do this, the awareness comes up again. It is a completely different energy than I have in everyday life. In this energy, I feel like my true self. I wish I had the energy in everyday life too, do not wait until someone with the accident happens. But when it comes to me, when I am in trouble, then the energy is even lower. And it depends on what I described earlier. I would like to clear the "abuse" pattern.

So I don't know how to manifest anything before clearing this. It is good that I am beginning to be aware of it. So getting aware of my pattern, maybe it is a good start to manifest my desire?

Answer:

First of all, you are evolving or you would not be aware of the pattern. Awareness of a pattern is a step in awakening. Whenever possible, observe the pattern. Note that you are noticing what you are doing. You are not blindly sleeping through it. You are gaining awareness.

As you gain awareness, it becomes possible to break the pattern. Everything must change when it is observed. Only the true self, the inner part of you, can observe. So, you are moving your attention from your involvement in self-punishment to your higher self. You are no longer participating in the same way with the behavior.

Love your behavior even when it is different from what you wish that it would be. Send pink light to the behavior if you cannot feel love. The act of sending love is an act of sending high frequency energy to a low energy. This will change the pattern over time. You can also visualize the following day with more positive behavior.

Forgive, observe and love yourself. These are the steps that help in altering patterns. You can change your pattern also by visualizing the future from an entirely different viewpoint. One day, you will encounter the same circumstances, and you will be free of reaction. Until then, love you.

I too have memories of dying in many lifetimes for my power and light. Like you, I believed that I was a victim because I carried that belief from many life times. As I awakened to my inner knowing, strength and power, I began to remember many life times of dying for having experienced partial enlightenment, my role as a healer, and my ability to hold the light.

(Since that time, I have seen that many women have memories of past life times of persecution and death for their powers. I do not know if this is real or simply a planetary projection to separate women from their divinity and true power. My perception is that everyone has holograms of past lives and their own past. Our recollection of past holograms does not mean that they are completely true.)

My dream teacher pointed out that I was awakening from the dream of persecution. After all, if I had a dream or memory of a past life, I awakened in my home. I could go for a walk with my son or have lunch with my boyfriend. I had the ability to stay in the present dream of life and create a life that was based on using my abilities, instead of hiding them. When I realized that I could take my power back. I decided to dream a different dream of life.

It took some time before I could completely relinquish the fear that accompanied my memories. Finally, I decided that if I went deeply enough into the light that I would be safe. I learned to call on the angels for protection and I then realized that I was safe. My lifetimes were bad dreams that I carried with me.

I created my future and the bad or punishment from my memories. I awakened and saw that I could create whatever I wanted, not from the habit of many old life times. There are many good life times too.

You will see this when you awaken. You can create the good, but you have to believe that you can and that the power of the good is better and stronger. You have already seen — when there are accidents — that you can awaken. You must decide that you can.

There are many powerful beings of light and angels. Write your angels, pray and meditate. Ask for protection, love and the beneficial presence of the Light. These forces are stronger than any circumstances in life. They must answer if you call upon them with all of your strength and might. The light is stronger than any other force on this planet.

Many miracles happened last summer when you decided to stay in the light. This can happen again. I believe that you can do this.

Love,
Julia

This question is a response to a lengthy post on my blog (www.onetrueself.com/blog)

Question:

How does one catch one's self in the moment to avoid responding emotionally (as a victim, hero, or perpetrator) to the actions of a perpetrator? It's easy to see that sending love is important, and I can see being able to pause before firing off a poison pen email, but how do you respond when this is happening in a conversation or phone call?

Thanks Julia!

Answer:

Keep in mind that all three roles in drama are victim roles. The victim is the person who is hurt; the perpetrator tries to hurt the other people who are involved; and the hero tries to save the situation by sacrificing all of his/her energy.

Usually, the basis of all three roles begins in childhood. The role of the perpetrator begins when the child or person feels so hurt that s/he attacks for survival. The underlying feelings are those of insecurity, lack of faith and love in self, and fear. The goal of the perpetrator is to hurt or attack others before s/he can be hurt (again), and we tend to perceive this action as aggression.

A perpetrator teaches a great deal about one's personal vulnerability. I learned from my ex-husband, who is a martial artist, that a person can only be attacked in an area of unprotected vulnerability. For example, Achilles could not be defeated unless attacked at the back of the heel. You cannot be attacked if you are not vulnerable. This is an excellent opportunity to see how you feel vulnerable. What is this person attacking about you? Is it true? Is it based on old patterns of insecurity from childhood or adolescence?

Perpetrators are adept at attacking other people to hide their own vulnerability. If you are on the defensive, then the perpetrator wins. (They actually win your energy.) A perpetrator must attack a place of weakness, or the other person will not react to the attack. What will happen if the attack doesn't hurt you? Nothing will happen.

The Universe is waiting for you to react differently. In a conversation, you can ask, "Is this your opinion or are you stating this as a truth? Is there a reason for your viewpoint? Why do you feel this way?" Perpetrators don't respond well to questioning because they plan a surprise attack to take the chessboard. They rarely know the reason for their thoughts because they are in a knee-jerk reaction about protecting themselves.

You can also notice your own body during these encounters. If you can relax the parts of your body that tense during these encounters, then the situation will change. This is because your body is part of your field. If you change your physical reaction, then you have changed your reaction into a response.

In closing, if there is a perpetrator in your life, then you are either the victim or the hero. When you decide not to play this role, the perpetrator will find another person to persecute!

Observation is the key when changing any pattern because they are ALL based on drama. Notice which of the roles that you play and the actions/reactions that you always have because these may be the clues to the solution. You may have always reacted to this type of attack.

Notice if you placate, argue with or soothe the perpetrator. Keep a list on your desk and listen to your tone of voice. Change your responses or reactions. (It is also useful to record phone calls from perpetrators as they usually don't remember what they said since the point of the call was to argue or intimidate.)

Julia Griffin is an intuitive healer who has successfully transformed the lives of thousands of people through her manifestation and meditative techniques. She teaches these techniques in her group classes, one-on-one sessions, and e-courses. Julia has been a contributing writer for Spirit of Maat. She has a deep understanding of energetics based on extensive studies. She is an alchemist, astrologer, herbalist and Reiki master. She has the ability to communicate with plants and animals. She lived with wolves for nine years, while developing her intuitive abilities.

She recently launched the Julia Mystery School e-course; these workshops embody advanced teachings for those who want to deepen their understanding of how we create our personal "reality". Julia offers a free monthly newsletter that includes manifestation, meditation and energetic techniques, the One True Self enewsletter at www.onetrueself.com

Julia Griffin, PO Box 920, Hiawassee, GA 30546

Telephone: 706-896-7744

Email: info@onetrueself.com